The Upset Payment Terms
Okay, so we have to write this out because if we don’t, there’s going to be some yokel who makes our life unnecessarily complicated by just being a pedant. Well, friend, that’s no way to live your life, but if you’ve gotten this far into the Payment Terms section of a website, you’re probably that guy, so perhaps we could skip all this and just say “Sorry, we don’t do refunds (Exceptions in the last section)”.
OKAY FINE here we go.
No Partial Credit
Once you pay for a month, you have access for the whole month (unless you get banned/suspended, but even that doesn’t trigger a refund). The same goes for paying for a year. There’s no refund or partial credit if you cancel before the subscription period ends. Why? Because some jerk could pay us for a month, queue up all the articles in a thousand tabs on their computer, then cancel it, saying “I only used one day!”
You can cancel, but if you do, you’ll still have access through the remainder of the agreed-upon period, we just won’t renew your subscription when it expires.
Mind Your Business
Additionally—and this is really just common sense—if you subscribe monthly and one month, your credit card just declines the charge, your access to the site will be rescinded and you’ll have to start all over. Don’t worry, your account info will still be there, just not your subscription access (until you sort your payment method out). All the articles will be there when you get back.
In short, it’s your responsibility to keep cash in your (bank account / debit card / credit card / PayPal / whatever) and make sure it hasn’t expired.
We don’t have any The Upset cops running around maintaining law and order on the site, but we do have an editor and he has the right to suspend your account if you violate the Terms of Service. If that happens, you don’t get a refund. If you could get a refund, that would be a loophole to the “No Partial Credit” rule, and you could get what amounted to a free subscription just by being a Nazi. Nice try, Nazis. If you get banned, we’re keeping your money from that billing cycle (but we will not keep billing you after that, no matter how satisfying it would feel).
Here’s how this works, and it varies by subscription type, so pay attention. During the first week, we had a few people that—to avoid the auto-renew on the annual subscription—bought a gift subscription… for themselves. That let us know that you wanted the option to sign up for a subscription that didn’t auto-renew. So we changed it! You can now opt-out of the auto-renew. But if you don’t opt-out, here’s how it works:
Monthly Subscribers: Once you sign up for a monthly subscription, it will automatically renew every month until you cancel. You will get a receipt via e-mail (unless you opt out). The only time you will have to re-up your permissions is if our price goes up. If our price goes up, we will send you an e-mail and let you know at least thirty (30) days in advance, so you have plenty of time to go cancel if the new price is too high.
Yearly Subscribers: We will still automatically renew your subscription, but since a yearly subscription is a bigger financial investment than the monthly, we will send you an e-mail at least thirty (30) days in advance to give you sufficient time to cancel, if you want to. If you’re up for another year, just ignore the e-mail (perhaps check your credit card to make sure it hasn’t expired) and it will automatically renew.
We’re not unreasonable people. If something came up (here’s an example: you purchased a year’s subscription and then a day later your Mom gifted you a year’s subscription) and you need to cancel, contact us: firstname.lastname@example.org. Yes, we want to stay in business, but we’re not treacherous moneyfiends. Get in touch and we will try to work something out.