Rise of the (soda) machines

I was waiting in line to for lunch on a Wednesday at a fast casual restaurant in Cedar Park.

It was a little bit after 1 p.m., so the lunch rush was over and only one employee was working behind the register.

It was a short line, I wasn’t in a hurry, so it wasn’t a big deal. The person in front of me was in the middle of crafting their order — bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a bunch of toppings that they rattled off.

“Would you like a drink with that?” the cashier asked.

The patron, a man dressed in what could be described as casual business attire, looked to the left of the register. He paused, stared at the soda machine, and turned back to the cashier.

“Sorry, cancel my order,” the man said. “Can’t eat at a place that serves Coke that way.”

The cashier, who was named Kevin, was somewhat stunned. He said, “ok,” quickly yelled over his shoulder, “hold that order,” and went to work trying to cancel the transaction.

After a what felt like forever Kevin — whose name I learned off my receipt — finally cancelled the order, and before he could even finish, “have a nice day,” the business-casual soda aficionado (or snob) had walked out the door.

“That way” was a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine.

First introduced in 2009, it’s a machine that features more than 165 different types of beverages.

Want a Raspberry Diet Coke and want to mix it with a Lime Coke Zero? Peach Fanta with a dash of Cherry Coke?

Go ahead, the world is your oyster. Whatever twisted concoction you can dream up, it’s yours for the taking.

Apparently there is a resistance fighting the rise of these Freestyle Machines.

Upon further research I found a Facebook group called “I hate the Coca-Cola Freestyle Drink Machine,” where it’s members — 1,131 strong as of this writing — share articles and ideas for overthrowing machines and returning traditional soda fountains to their proper glory.

One user shared an article that concluded with Mexican Coke being the answer. If the these Coke purists were going to defeat the machines they needed to go south of the border, the following is an exact excerpt:

I think at this point, we may need to rely on our good neighbors to the south to save our American drink. The fact is that while America has been busy “Innovating”, Mexico has been busy creating great tasting coke in bottles using real sugar. Mexican Coke has come along way by doing the same thing for the last 50 years.
So as I leave you now, my advice is ditch the digital coke and pick up an icy Mexican Coke in a bottle if you want to really taste the future.

Of course, I had to share this discovery on Twitter.

Thanks to Twitter I learned about a soda machine boycott in February of 2016. At one point an open letter written by “Disappointed Burrito Boy” asked fellow Qdoba shoppers to “band together and ear our burritos without beverage, maybe, just maybe, they will see our despair and make it right.”

We laugh, but maybe these people have a point?

Are we really being duped by these machines? Behind the facade of buttons and free choice is something evil at play?

Let’s look at the points, compiled from multiple sources, that I can only assume the business-casual soda aficionado (or snob) must believe in.

1. It’s digital Coke, it’s not the real thing. They are sacrificing convenience for flavor.

Fair enough, I understand demanding quality. But I was at a fast casual restaurant. Isn’t convenience the point?

Sure, I understand enjoying pure Coke from the bottle in the comforts of your own home. But when we are trying to feed the masses, choice plus convenience seems like an ideal situation.

2. It’s not syrup, it’s simply flavor cartridges. That’s bad.

This point was followed up by, “who knows what’s in those cartridges?” If you are making health arguments about syrup vs. cartridges you’ve lost me.

3. People take too long to use the machines.

I agree with them here. Note to restaurants, if you are going to have these Freestyle machines it would be ideal to have enough to serve your clientele without causing a major back-up.

4. Because your beverage becomes something called “Frankencoke.”

I don’t know, that sounds somewhat cool to me. Also people forget Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster. If a doctor was making the coke it would likely be healthier.

5. Because America needs it’s Coke again

Freedom of choice is a sole American value in my opinion, so this is a flawed argument.

I sat down to write this, hoping I would better understand what I witnessed today. Now I’m only more confused.

If anything business-casual soda aficionado (or snob) owes Kevin an apology for making him awkwardly cancel an order.