The Upset Sports, LLC Terms of Service
This is a contract between you (“The User”) and The Upset Sports, LLC (“The Site”). You have entered into literally hundreds of these contracts in your life, and once in awhile some corporation does something silly and claims to own all your photographs or jokes. We’re going to do our best to avoid that. Here we go!
We have to tell you to read this. You should read this. You should read all the Terms of Service that you agree to. It’s a contract, after all.
1. Using the Site
You can use the site if you are allowed to form a legally binding contract. No babies allowed. Babies don’t even care about sports. Don’t make your babies read this site, please. In fact, anyone under the age of 13 is strictly prohibited from using the site. Why? The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act. You can read the articles aloud to your kids if you want, but they’re banned from the site. Sorry.
Additionally, if your account has been suspended by The Upset Sports, LLC, you are not permitted to just start a new account like nothing ever happened. If you’re banned, you’re banned. Send us an e-mail at email@example.com if you want us to reconsider, but without express written consent, all suspensions shall be considered permanent.
Assuming you adhere to these terms and conditions, you are granted a non-exclusive, limited, non-transferable, freely revocable license to use the service. The Upset Sports LLC reserves all rights not expressly granted herein as they pertain to the service and as they pertain to the content thereof. The Upset Sports LLC reserves the right to terminate this license at any time, for good reason, bad reason, any reason, or no reason.
To access the content of the service, you must pay a subscription fee or be given a subscription as a gift. Once you have paid for the service, The Upset Sports LLC allows you to access the content within the service. We reserve the right to add to, subtract from, or edit this content at any time. Accounts are not intended to be shared. If we find out that you are giving your password to other people so that they can access the content without subscribing, your subscription will be terminated without refund.
When you subscribe, you are required to give accurate and complete information. Once your account is created, you and you alone are responsible for any activity that happens under your username. If any abuse of the service is committed under your name, “My uncle hacked into my account” or some similar excuse will not be believed. (We will assume you got tanked up one night and decided to get wild in the comments section. We’re not going to judge you for overdoing it on a night out, but a violation of the terms of service is a violation of the terms of service, and you said some horrible things, pal. You’re going to have to go. Take this opportunity to think about where your life is going).
Make sure your password is strong. Your password should not be “password”. It should not be “password123”. It should not be “theupsetsportspassword123”. Pick a birthday and your favorite jersey number, an old high school sweetheart, and jumble it up. Pretend you’re a spy and there are a bunch of bad guys trying to steal your password, so it has to be extra tricky.
If you know that your account has been compromised, you are responsible for contacting us immediately. The Upset Sports LLC is not responsible for any losses caused by unauthorized use of your account.
By signing up for our e-mail list or subscribing to The Upset,, you consent to our using that e-mail address to send you updates. Updates about our website, we mean. Not updates on the nasty cough we got while hiking last weekend. Why would you want to know about that? That would be weird. Occasionally, we may be required by law to contact you. We will do that via e-mail.
If you don’t want to receive these e-mails, you can opt out, though opting out might mean that you miss out on important updates. Again, not about the cough. We’re fine. It’s just a cough. Don’t worry about us.
2. Site Rules
Here is a list of things you are not allowed to do on theupsetsports.com or any subsequent apps.
A. NO COPY/PASTING. That would wreck our whole business model and our children would have to look us in the eyes as we weep bitterly, telling them that our grand business plan has failed and now we have to go live with grandma and grandpa. Sure, they might think that sounds fun at first, until they realize they have to leave all their friends at school. Do you want to devastate our children? No? Then no copying the articles, and no distributing them in any way (INCLUDING SCREEN SHOTS) to anyone. This includes automated system designed to “scrape” the content. No. Stop it. The content on the site stays on the site only. Our children (and parents) are begging you and also we are expressly writing these words into the Terms of Service, which—lest you forget—is a contract. You are agreeing not to do this.
B. DON’T WRECK THE SITE. You are not permitted to engage in any activities that would compromise our site’s integrity, information, or security. You are not permitted to attempt to decipher messages between the site and our servers. You are not allowed to engage any automated process that does any of the aforementioned things, or that crashes our servers or causes our web traffic to be slowed. If you DDOS (distributed denial of service) our site, you will immediately lose your subscription, and we will never ever be your friends.
C. DON’T BE CREEPY. Please do not attempt to figure out or steal anyone’s personal information from our site. You can engage with people in the comments section, and if they decide to share their social media usernames with you voluntarily, that’s great! But don’t try to dig around in the code of the site to try to find anyone’s personally identifiable information. That is creepy and also not allowed. Also under the heading of creepy, do not impersonate someone else on our site. This is a catfishing-free zone. You are not permitted to commit fraud on The Upset Sports LLC’s website, or anywhere.
D. PROHIBITED LANGUAGE. Here’s the thing: no, this isn’t a church website, and it’s not for children, as we outlined earlier. Nevertheless, we will not stand for abusive behavior in any shape form or fashion. So here’s a list of language that is not allowed on The Upset Sports LLC’s website:
- Language promoting or teaching illegal acts
- Language promoting or teaching violation of the terms of service
- Explicit sexual language
- Repeated, aggressive, or unnecessarily frequent obscenities, after being asked by The Upset Sports LLC to stop or scale back.
- Language intended to incite violence
- Hate speech, including the promotion or glorification of racial, religious, gender, disability, ethnic, sexual orientation, or gender identity-based hatred.
- Hate speech is defined as speech, images, or other communication intended to degrade, intimidate, or incite violence or prejudicial action against someone based on their age, gender, race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability, region or geographic location.
- Any content (including jokes) that uses derogatory terms or images to refer to, portray, or make fun of a group of people based on any of the above criteria constitutes Hate Speech.
- Speech that may cause damage to anyone’s person or their property
- Speech that would (or that would advocate for) harm to any child or ask for a child’s personally identifiable information
- Speech that may create a risk of harm (including mental injury, emotional distress, disability, or death) to you or any other person or animal
- Copyrighted material
- Intentionally misleading information, especially that which might lead another person to commit violence against themselves, or anyone else.
The Upset Sports LLC reserves the right to remove any user-generated content that it deems inappropriate, even if such content falls outside the bounds of the above outlined prohibited speech
Nevertheless, The Upset Sports LLC is not liable for any damages you may incur as a result of user-generated content.
E. DON’T TRY TO BEAT THE SYSTEM. There is one way and one way only to access the content on The Upset Sports LLC’s website, and that is to have a subscription. If you do not have a subscription and you are reading the content, you are breaking the rules. If you are in any way attempting to make money off The Upset Sports LLC’s content, you are breaking the rules (this includes selling your own subscription to someone else).
If there’s anything we missed, The Upset Sports LLC reserves the right to suspend any user from the site if it is determined, in The Upset Sports LLC’s sole discretion, that the user has violated the terms of service, or for any other reason. If a user is suspended from the site, they are still bound by these terms of service, as it pertains to their interaction with the content on the site. In short, your access to the service may be suspended, but your agreement to these terms remains.
3. What The Upset Sports LLC Owns
Everything we put on the site. Full stop. We own (or have express written consent to use) all writing, images, elements, logos, or any intellectual property posted on the site by The Upset Sports LLC or its agents. You are not allowed to copy or otherwise distribute any content on The Upset Sports LLC’s website. By signing up for the service, you agree to these terms.
We do not own your personally identifiable information, such as your e-mail address or user photo. We do not own your comments, but by posting them—and this seems like common sense—you agree that other readers have the right to “access” your comments by reading them. Additionally, The Upset Sports LLC reserves the right to remove your comments if they violate the terms of service or for any other reason, or for no reason, or because you said that corn tortillas are superior to flour tortillas. That’s just plain false.
If you submit an issue, problem, or idea to us (this can be done at firstname.lastname@example.org), we reserve the right to implement or not implement these suggestions without financial compensation to you. The reason for this? What if we came up with a great idea, and two days before we rolled it out, you came up with the same idea and e-mailed us. Then when we revealed it, you would think we stole your idea without crediting you. It’s easier this way.
4. Financial Matters
The Upset is a subscription site, and as such, all content is subject to a fee for access. We may, in our sole discretion, decide to temporarily or permanently make selected content available for free. An explanation of our billing services can be found in our Payment Terms.
The Upset Sports LLC reserves the right to change, update, or amend the pricing and payment terms in the future, but any such changes will be posted immediately in our Payment Terms. In the event of any price change, subscribers will be notified at least thirty (30) days in advance of the price change, via e-mail and on the Payment Terms page.
We do not offer refunds. The reasons for this are outlined in the Payment Terms. If you cancel your subscription, you will still have access to the site (unless you are suspended for any violation) until the end of your billing cycle, but your subscription will not be renewed at the end of the billing cycle.
6. Outside Websites
Occasionally, you will find a link on The Upset Sports LLC’s website that will take you to someone else’s site. We read writers from the local papers, and other writers that cover the teams we love. If you click on a link that takes you away from TheUpsetSports.com and to someone else’s site, we are not responsible for the content on that other site.
7. You Won’t Sue Us
Will this hold up in court? Let’s see. (Actually, let’s not see, please. Just e-mail us at email@example.com if you have a problem, and we will try our best to work it out). Anyway, here’s the legal jargon: by using The Upset Sports LLC’s website, you agree to hold The Upset Sports LLC and its employees, agents, and associates blameless against any and all damages, losses, or expenses that may arise as a result of your using the service or violating these terms of service.
The Upset Sports LLC makes no other claims about the services provided beyond what is expressly written in these Terms of Service, the Privacy Agreement, and the Payment Terms. You use The Upset Sports LLC’s services at your own risk. There are no other warranties implied on the part of The Upset Sports LLC.
You hereby acknowledge and agree that The Upset Sports LLC and its service shall be based in the state of Texas, and subject to the governance of its laws. Any conflicts, lawsuits, or other grievances shall be subject to the laws and governance of the state of Texas.
9. This is what it is.
Any other agreement you have with The Upset Sports LLC as it pertains to your usage of the services thereof, shall be considered null and void. This agreement shall constitute the entirety of your agreement with The Upset Sports LLC. We did not agree to buy you a hot dog the next time we see you at a game.
If any court should deem one part of this agreement to be void—and let’s face it, the part about the hot dog just now was pretty unprofessional—that invalidity shall apply only to the portions of the contract deemed to be invalid, and not to the rest of the agreement. Likewise, should The Upset Sports LLC waive any part of this agreement, that does not imply that the entirety of the agreement has been waived.
If you have any questions about any part of this agreement, please contact us via e-mail at: firstname.lastname@example.org
This Agreement was last modified on November 23, 2017.